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swt_tran
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Name: Tran
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: Orange County
Gender: Female
Interests: eating, food, music, God, korean music and people, shopping, crafts making, singing, learning, meeting new people, socializing and listening.
Expertise: socializing and being welcoming
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
4/10/2006
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| Today, I went to the first large group meeting for Intervarsity and it was absolutely amazing.
I forgot what it was like to worship with 800 other people who LOVE and DESIRE God so much.
Today's passage was about how Jesus allowed Peter to walk on water and as he walked on water, he had so much faith in Jesus. However, as soon as he took his eyes off Jesus, he began to fall.
The speaker spoke about how Jesus is not someone who can just put into your pocket. Even Peter who believed in Jesus had to walk outside the boat onto the actual water. Therefore, as students at school, our purpose is not just to get straight A's, pass our biology classes, and move on. It is to love people and let that love become contagious for others to see Jesus. God is so much bigger than us and we cannot just stay in our boat and not let God expand our his kingdom through us. Experience God. Change the world.
The speaker ended with a call to allow Jesus into your life and let Him do miracles for you, just as he did for Peter. There were many bold individuals who stood up and as I looked back from my front seat, I saw a dear friend who stood up. I was surprise to see him there and he has always been someone who refuses to believe in Jesus. He states to me that he believes in evolution, therefore, he cannot believe in a God who does not exist. He cannot explain God scientifically, therefore, he does not believe. I have been praying for him and it was incredibly wonderful for me to see him take the next step in accepting God into his life. I learned that God will do miracles despite you. He will do the conversion of someone's life, but he wants you to be there for the ride so that you could witness his great miracles. Afterwards, I hugged him and told him how proud I was of him and how God will continue to use him. He says he feels overwhelmed, but he will definitely come back next week.
A life living for others so that they could see Jesus through you is such a worthy life. I was speechless at how God transforms people's minds and life. He was someone who did not believe at first and Jesus completely converted that. I was amazed, awestruck, and in wonder. In many ways, I'm sure I share the same feelings that Peter felt when he walked on water towards Jesus. I am completely content. I truly want to live radically for a God who continues to carry His cross next to me. | | |
| Finally has some down time to blog about my experiences thus far!
Let's start with Friday; one of the most frustrating days my team and I had ever had! However, I really learned to see God within in at the end of the day. In a nutshell, instructions get changed every single day for our team as well as the rest of the clinical teams! We have to deal with it as a team as it comes. People came in on this day demanding things, needing things, and accusing things in which we have no idea what we could do with. One demand by an individual really hurt my team and they were discouraged. I also saw that it affected the way we dealt with our patients. I ALMOST wanted to blow up at one of them. As a result, we saw the patients in a pretty quick manner and rushed all of them to see the MA and wait for another 2-3 hours as instructed.
Quality? Definitely not. Quantity? Yes. Quickness? Yes.
Afterwards, I called my team for a mandatory meeting. It was probably one of the best moments that I ever had with my team. We poured out of our frustrations and our joys as well. It was nice to share with each other about how stressed we feel as a team and how hurt we are by people's demands and comments. In the end, I encouraged my team by asking them to trust God. I told them that none of this would happen if it were not for Him, so He knows what we're going through. He understands and see it very clearly; therefore, we trust for his provision. I suggested that we each pray, but two of my teammates are non-Christians, therefore, I told them that they wouldn't have to. One of them lifted up a two sentence prayer and I felt so touched by the Holy Spirit. I learned that it moves even when I don't have faith in it. After praying, it just felt as if everything was lifted up to God; that I no longer was in charge. That's a very defining feeling to have. I spoke to Chi Vy afterwards and she encouraged me about how caring I was for my team. The mission banquet to end our clinic at Tra Vinh was also the same night. For the rest of the night, we played "I Have never" as a team.
Saturday and Sunday: Resting time and traveling to Can Tho. Can Tho makes me feel so nostalgic for Saigon. The hustle and bustle of people brings me back to the city life. There are half-naked Peruvian soccer team players on our floor, so that was kind of scary at first. However, I got over it once I accepted the fact that I would eventually have to step outside the room. We went to church today and it was nice to come and worship God with His people. The pastor spoke about Phillipians 2:1-11; how Christ was the ultimate example of humility and how he became obedient; even to death on the cross.
What I have learned thus far: Being a clinical leader is a very humbling job. It reminds me that I need God each day; because sometimes I have no idea what's going on. I also learned that community and relationship building outside the workplace is essential to working and serving in ministry together.
I learned that medicine is not something to just one day decide to go into (What a revelation, that is, right?). However, I learned that I love medicine because it contradicts who I am. Talking to one of the surgeons, Jesse today about life and whatnot and he reminded me that I am a planner. I also admitted to him that it is my tragic flaw because it is Jesus who paves and plans the way. In the same manner, medicine is unpredictable and at times, unreliable; yet so exciting. It contradicts my planning personality and that's why I enjoy it so much.
I think that's what missions does to you. It reminds you that you need to deal with your contradictions and experience things you never would have if you did not step out of your comfort zone to live radically for the LORD. Until next time, God Bless!
Verse for the week: "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1 | | |
| Today, we drove 1 hour and 30 minutes to another village schoolhouse to see 450 patients. I felt overwhelmed looking at the crowd every day. I'm sure that feeling will never change.
I was very low on my patience today. My teammates were also. Around 10 AM, Hung asked me if he could take a break because he felt really upset and he might blow up at the next patient. I thought, "WOW! ALREADY?"
Little did I know, I would soon need that break as well. Today was a very trying day for me. Patients were aggravating me for some reason with their bizarre and out-of-range descriptions of their illnesses. I keep repeating the same question 5 times only to find myself receive 5 different answers. I give them suggestions for their types of pain or associated symptoms only to find that they agree with all of my suggestions. I felt as if I was not giving them my best effort. I felt as if I was cutting them out of the quality time that I could be spending with them. We also had a lot of pressure as a team. People told us to slow down, hurry up (6 times), slow down, hurry (another 6); and my teammates were getting very annoyed. I do not blame them. It's tough when your team sets the pace.
Anh Vien came over and told me that we were doing a fantastic job. He said that when he looks at the history, he does not need to ask any more questions to the patients. That was very encouraging.
Had a few congenital heart defect patients under 10! However, some over 10 years old, we turned away. My teammates are getting quite strong. Medicine does that to ya! Praise God or else I'd be the burden of bad news. Around 3 PM, we were still only on 305 patients. We were all losing our voices and getting restless. Kathy told me to take a break. She told me to walk down the hall and breathe, so I did. I took a break and it did help. I went to pray and just sat looking at the incredible amount of patients. We saw patients from 8 AM- 8 PM today. The bus got home around 9:30 PM. Tomorrow, we repeat.
Something I ask myself while on this trip: "If we strive for quantity, how does that affect our quality?" I felt as if our team or just us in general, were seeing way too many patients. And although we are helping so many people, how much of that is quality time spent with them and how much time would that give us to share the Gospel? Possibly, this is what God has put in my heart to wrestle with.
What I have learned thus far: You know those people who work at the doctor's office or the hospital where you come in and they seem all upset and aggravated and their service sucks?! WELL! That's because they have to deal with such irregular people and their various complaints. Now, instead of being self-centered and wondering why they aren't best buddies with me when I come to visit my doctor, I can totally understand their weariness. I experienced it myself. However, please pray that I will not use that as an excuse to treat others like how I feel. A feeling is very fleeting and unstable, therefore, Satan attacks you at it the most. Tomorrow, I choose to put my weariness feeling and not use it as an excuse. I hope to focus on the patient's well-being as they come in to see me and my teammates.
Another thing that I learned is that medicine is made for very special people. Not everyone is called for it; just as not everyone is called for missions. Even fewer are called for medical missions; however, those few, God will greatly bless. I was reminded of Jesus today as I looked onto the interminable crowd of patients. Remember when Jesus was in the crowd in the parables and he was surrounded by so many people who are all begging for Him to save them? he never got overwhelmed, although, it would be understandable if He did. Remember when superficially, it did not look like he would have enough to feed the 5 thousands? He did and he never did it with a bad attitude. I pray that this will be my attitude tomorrow and the rest of the week.
I was also reminded of the story of the woman who touched Jesus' cloak in the crowd and caught His attention. Jesus was in CROWD of PEOPLE and this woman, who barely touched Him, was saved and noticed by Him! I was truly reminded that my interruptions are among the most important moments of my days. Conclusion: jesus knows you and your heart no matter where you are and how invisible you thing you are to Him.
What I have learned thus far about myself: Haven't sat down to think about this, but I have learned a lot about myself already through this trip. If anyone is familiar with the Myer-Briggs personality test, you'd be familiar with the term,
Judgment. Now, it does not mean that you're likely to judge someone. Simply, it means that you tend to plan your activities and make decisions early. You derive a sense of control through predictability. They are not "go with the flow" people. The other type is P-persuasion. They are the spontaneous and often tend to withhold judgment and delay important decisions, preferring to "keep their options open" should circumstances change. I'm totally a planner, which is a J. Imagine traveling to Europe: Being a J, I would need to know where I will be staying each night and what my activities are for the day. P's would be the person who does whatever comes up in that day without extensive planning. The challenge for me is not to be in control and let God take care of me. It is so hard to let go. I feel like I need to be in control down to the last second. However, I was reminded of this verse:
"To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue." Proverbs 16:1.
Anyhow, I also learned that I could be a P-persuasion. I never thought I could be. Each day, I never know what to expect. I don't know which room we'll be in. I'm not in control of whether of not the generators will work. I don't know what to expect from each patient that sits at that chair waiting for me. Honestly, it is a bit a exciting to live a sporadic life. Not sure if I could be like this everyday, but in the meantime, remember that characteristics you think could never change about yourself are possible through the One who created you.
Lastly, played some games with the local kids, lost my voice and sound very raspy, and had many laughs with my teammates; all in a day's work. I need to rest my voice, but it's so hard not to talk! I have so much fun laughing at random street signs and making people laugh with me! Thank you, God, for You are a relational God.
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| Currently watching my team members play Mafia in Trung's room. It's madness! I could never play Mafia after playing it in Seattle with Bumble. It was so intense. Mafia like this is very random and unstructured.
Today was a great day! I think that I'm growing a lot stronger today because I had to turn away 5 congenital heart defect patients and I did not cry at all. I don't think that I became cold-hearted, it is just that I really trust God with their situation. There's nothing I could do for them anymore except pray.
Today, we had a lighter load of patients and History was able to finish first and I had time to sit around and talk to the patients. One patient that I was able to talk to told me about her entire life story! I love IT! She told me about her son who was beat up by a mafia over a girl. They left him with psychological problems, but he refuses to admit he has problems and continue to blame the government. She told me about the dwindling poverty that her family gets into because he refuses to get help.
A lot of us sat around at the end to talk to this congenital heart patient who was waiting to be consulted by Dr. Branch. He was really sad and his mother told me that at school, he gets picked on because he's so weak and fatigue that he can't do anything. It did make me really sad. Overall, I did have a very good day at the clinic!
What I have learned thus far: Little time spent with patients mean a whole of difference to them. My voice is so sore by today, but talking to them was extremely heart-warming. Thank you God for making us relational beings.
A couple of my team members cried today and I continue to be reminded that Jesus had the power to save everyone, but he did not. He saved those who had the desire to know Him more. Although I'm sad for some of these patients, I trust the God who made me and them in His image. | | |
| Praise God. We got all of the equipment back at midnight last night!! The government people got tired of counting all the medications.
I had a pretty rough day today. Accommodated to a lot of changes, especially regarding writing the history forms in Vietnamese for the Vietnamese doctors.
History team members was told by Chi Vy to turn away patients who has congenital heart defect. Detailed reasons are still being worked out by Anh Vien. I'm fully convince that History is the hardest team besides the doctors who actually see and diagnosed the patients. We deal with everything that goes on at the clinic. We set the pace, we have to hurry when others are faster, we have to deal with committee members coming over for criticisms. However, it is the team where God will use you the most.
Today, I had a case that broke my heart. I cried a lot. A one year-old boy came in today and looked extremely pale, but he was the cutest and most adorable human specimen I had ever laid eyes on. His mom said he had congenital heart defect, which is benh tim bam sinh. Most kids, who do not have surgery right away end up not making it to their teenager years. This was after Chi Vy had told me we were no longer accepting these patients. I put my hand on his heart and it definitely had irregular heart beat. Then, I used the stethoscope to listen t and of course it was beating as if it wants to jump out of his body. I was completely torn. He looked so helpless and so was I. I decided to take him to see the doctor nevertheless. I did not care if I would have gotten in trouble. I could not turn him away. I'm not sure what happened to him, but I saw him getting in line to see the doctor. Then, I went out to pray and David came along and we prayed for the boy. I came back and had to turn away several other patients. I'm very thankful for the comfort of my team. They truly are a blessing. I would be insane without the reception team as well. We really are "One body, many parts."
Towards the end of the night around 6 PM, we had a 7 year old boy come in with the same problem. I cried as well, although I tried hard not to. I had to turn him away. His dad explained that they're too poor and the heart operation will cost 2-3 thousand dollars. They do not have that kind of money. His back is slump because he has to work in the fields all day and carry all of the weeds back. UGH. I just broke down and he also cried. The boy remained oblivious. I asked him if I could pray for him because there's nothing else I could do. I prayed for him and sent him on his way. His wife came in, full of tears and also thanked me. My team all cried together and we all once again prayed for his family.
Today, we saw patients from 8 AM- 8PM straight. I took one 15 minutes break, period. Tomorrow, it will be the same schedule. Thank God for His strength because I could never do it on my own strength. I will have to wake up in about 2 hours to charge the vital machines. Then, we have clinic again at 7 AM.
what I have learn thus far: Medicine is A HUGE, if not the most SPECIAL bridge to the GOSPEL of Jesus CHRIST. It can transform and move people's lives. Im sure I didn't change anyone's live today, or if, I did, God did the miracle, not me. I just feel that these people are a part of my heart, forever. However, if you don't have God's love and His grace, it is easy to become cold hearted and just look at patients as if they were a number on a paper.
I will definitely go into medicine. It is absolutely a restless, surprising, exhausting, and crazy career, but it is also so MAGNIFICENTLY worth rejoicing in.
Stress: plenty
Joy: priceless and plenty more | | |
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